Back when I was adopted it was not as easy to adopt a child--I was about 6 months old when my parents were finally approved and allowed to bring me home. I was told at a very young age that I was adopted but I had no problems with it. I was totally accepted by my entire family--and as I got a bit older I met others that were adopted. The only problem that I have encountered is that back then the records were sealed tight as a drum-they still are. It would have been nice to know the medical history of my birth family! But other then that--I have never had the inclination to meet them or to even know who they were.
These days it is a lot easier to find out facts and to possibly meet or at least find out about your birth family-I have a niece that did just that. Several of the friends that I knew actually were curious--but like I said--back then it was virtually impossible.
This short story about a boy who was adopted is heart warming. With the help of his adoptive parents he was able to connect with his birth family. There is a section at the end that gives advice on how to go about doing this for parents. It is extremely informative and in my opinion helpful.
I would like to note here that the book was written by the boy with the help of his Mom!
This story was written for adoptive families to explore the benefits of adoption openness. The main character, Deshaun, loves his family but always wondered about his biological family. Does he look like them? Did they love him? With the support of his adoptive parents, Deshaun gets to meet his biological family. They develop an ongoing relationship, so Deshaun feels more stable in his adoptive family, but also develops a comfortable relationship with his birth family. Deshaun and his family are reminded (as we all are) that family can include biological, adopted, foster and kin members.
After reading this book, a child and their family will be able to:
- Discuss feelings about adoption
- Imagine what openness might mean for them
- Acknowledge similarities and differences among family members
- Discuss if an expanded sense of family is possible for their circumstances
"
There are many children's adoption books that address the important themes of identity, attachment, grief and loss; however, very few approach the topic of openness for older children in the in-depth manner that Theresa and Eric do in their book. The emotions that Deshaun describes are typical of many adopted children and could help normalize universal feelings for young adoptees. I would highly recommend this book for all adopted children and will certainly be using it in my practice."
--Tecla Jenniskens, M.S.W., R.S.W., adoption social worker
"
Many foster and adoptive parents fear the consequences of introducing their children to birth parents. This story offers a redemptive look at how parents can remain history keepers for their children by helping them answer important questions about themselves and their origins. This book is a beautiful example of how fearless curiosity and compassion can lead to increased coherence in a child's story and an expanded sense of family for everyone."
--Paris Goodyear-Brown, LCSW, RPT-S, clinical director of Nurture House, executive director of the TraumaPlay Institute and author of A Safe Circle for Little U and Trauma and Play Therapy
"
We're All Not the Same, but We're Still Family is a lovely book that tackles issues adopted children really think about when they question their identity and place within a family. The authors describe the process of a boy's search for his biological family, with the full support of his adoptive parents, and the events that brought him into the child welfare system. The illustrator's rendition of the Skyped meetings between the two families is captivating, while the text gives careful attention to the unification process. I applaud the authors on their inclusion of realistic steps in this complicated process, as we witness a child's journey to find and complete his family."
--Laurie Zelinger, PhD, ABPP, RPT-S, board certified psychologist and author of Please Explain "Anxiety" to Me!
From Loving Healing Press
www.LHPress.com
Available to buy from...
Inside the book
Deshaun meeting his birth family over a Skype call
Eric Fraser is 17 years old and adopted. Like Deshaun, he found some of his birth family when he was in middle school. He likes lacrosse, skateboarding, and, ice-skating in the wintertime. He is a public speaker and talks about what kids need and value from helping relationships.
Theresa Fraser is Eric’s mom. She and her husband fell in love with Eric the second they saw him. He is an amazing teenager who carries around the love he received from his birth family and ancestors as well as his chosen family.
In her work as a therapist, Theresa believes strongly that families can be defined in many different ways, and often this includes foster/adoptive and birth family members. How blessed all family members are when contact can be shared and it is positive for the child.
Theresa has a variety of certifications that enable her to work effectively with people across the lifespan. She is a Trauma Specialist, Certified Play Therapist, Registered Psychotherapist (Ontario) and Certified Counselling Therapist (Nova Scotia). She has experience using a variety of evidenced based interventions. She has won provincial, national and international awards and has many publications.
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23 comments :
I am not a part of an adoptive family.
I was a part of a foster family, I liked them.
I am not part of an adoptive family but I have relatives who were adopted.
no iam not
Not part of an adoptive family.
My ex-husband adopted 2 of my children, so I guess I am!
Yes,myself,my stepsister my mouth and my stepfather were all adoptee
My mother,sorry
I am not adopted but I am a big supporter of adoption.
I am not legally a part of an adopted family. I do have an extended family through Christ Jesus
Theresa loves the peace and the calm from the outdoors. God's creation is awesome. She has such great and inspirational art work. Thank you so much for sharing this
I'm not part of one.
I am not part of an adoptive family
No, I'm not but my Dad was adopted.
No, I'm not.
I am not a part of an adoptive family.
No, I'm not.
I have not been adopted but my niece/sister has been. It is a really long story. My mother adopted my sisters little girl and I help to raise her.
No, I am not part of an adoptive family.
Not in the traditional sense. My niece was adopted out of the family, though.
I have not read anything from the author's blog but will now. Heather hgtempaddy@hotmail.com
I am not part of an adoptive family
No, I'm not.
Thanks for the contest.
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