Our initial negotiating skills begin while very young--one or the other of our parents say “do this—or else”. Although not truly negotiating since we really do not have a choice at that point in our lives it is the beginning. As we get older the “or else” turns into—if you do this-you can do that”. For example, if you want a certain toy you might be told “if you clean your room I will get you the toy you desire”. Or you might see a very young child try to hand another very young child a toy in the hopes that he or she will be handed the toy the other child is holding. This too is a simple negotiating act. By the time you reach your teens you have simple negotiating skills down pat! Suddenly it is “If I do this can I do or get that”. Or you might observe a teen saying to another teen—“if you lend me your blouse, I will lend you the dress you want to borrow”. Of course negotiations don’t always work out the way children or teens want!!!!! And warfare can and does occur along with temper tantrums!! But then parents are dictators, no matter how benevolent—they call the shots. The skill set is in place, ingrained in our subconscious—it is time to enter the world outside our homes.
Ok, we have made it through high school—we have negotiated someone else’s knowledge of Math for our knowledge of say English. It is time to enter college or the workplace. In college we still use the simplistic negotiating skill of you help me with this and I will help you with that. At that first job—I want this amount of money and this is what I am willing to do for it-or the owner says I will pay you this if you are willing to do that. Most people never get beyond this type of negotiating skill, but with additional training-they can!!
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21 comments :
Negotiating is a great skill to have!
I work in the business world and I know first hand just how important this is in the workforce, but something I struggle with!
99% of my job is negotiating! It is such an important skill.
I love the idea of kids having negotiating skills. It is kind of like the old Roman skill of rhetoric and logic. If you could argue your point to a particular solution, you won, regardless of whether or not your argument made sense.
I love this post, great information.
Negotiating is the key to any business...even in the Blog world. Great article Michele.
Negotiating is a skill that everyone needs to succeed in life. Without it they will have a very hard time functioning in the adult world.
What great information. Negotiation is so important! Thanks!
What a great post. I never realized that I negotiate every single day, especially with my children!
I am better at negotiating over the phone or computer than in person. This is something I really should work at. thanks for sharing!
I've become much better at negotiating over the past few years ~ for most things anyway.
Great post with some good pointers! Negating skills are very useful for the adult world!
I am better at negotiating than my husband.
GREAT post!! I have to say my husband is much better at negotiating then me.
Negotiating is a GREAT skill to have, especially with what WE do :)
This is such an important skill.
I think everything is about negotiating. I give my son a cookie and he wants 4, so I hand him two! We work out a compromise in life about just about everything
I think everything is about negotiating. I give my son a cookie and he wants 4, so I hand him two! We work out a compromise in life about just about everything
negotiations are part of life as you stated they do begin very early in life
I am BEYOND bad at negotiating. I really need to work on this! Thanks for the article!
Tiffany
I am ALL about negotiating and making both sides happy!
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